1. A child that talks to you constantly about the same ride, over and over (and cannot hear your conversation about what you did this morning) isn't being rude but cannot even begin to take in what you are saying.

2. The 10 year old who is constantly wiggling and jiggiling and flapping in the street, as they ruminate over the G force of the theme park ride they went on a year ago, doesn't have ants in their pants, they are self-stimming and re-living their experience.

3. The child that constantly asks you if there is something in their eye, pointing and seeking reassurance 500 times a day isn't wanting to wind you up, it's the next tic they are having to cope with (after the head jerking, grunting, clicking that followed for months previously) - you just have to reply "nothing in your eye" and wait for them to move on.

4. The child that asks you to reply "okay" 500 times a day and screams at you if you say any other word isn't being naughty, they have an OCD that needs a certain reply, repeatedly, to cope with their day.

5. The child that won't leave the bathroom floor until you give them the exact time you are collecting and taking home their friend isn't being controlling but has to know everything to the finest detail. Write it down, go over the plan and don't think they have forgotten times and will just "go with the flow"...they won't and can't!

6. The child that receives 2 chicken tenders instead of 3 in the Harvester (their only safe restaurant) due to their menu being revised and them subsequently going into a public meltdown and refusing their whole meal isn't being a "diva". To them -something is different, the world has gone different and they can't cope. Quietly explain to the kitchen manager and usually they will do one extra finger of chicken.

7. When you haven't been able to go to the toilet on your own for 10 years and the child has never slept in a room on their own and calls you constantly if you are in another room, I have to remember that this anxiety troubles their mind every second of every day so when I get frustrated, how must they feel when they see their peers going off on sleepovers and residentials. Work on small steps, one at a time, it is now progress that my boy can sit in the lounge with the door open and only needs to call me every 20 seconds when I'm in the kitchen.

8. The play date that goes horribly wrong because the child invited over doesn't want to do the exact same paddling pool moves as last time, isn't because the one that invited them over is being awkward, the brain looks for repetition and if a plan as small as this changes, the whole weekend can feel ruined. Be around if you have a play date arranged for someone with neurodiversity as things can change quickly and you may need to "entertain" and divert things for the other child whilst your child takes time out.

9. The child that looks unkempt, hasn't had their hair cut in over two years (despite every attempt, bribe, coercion being tried!) and turns up in Year 6 looking like they don't care, isn't wanting to be picked on. They describe a school uniform as "representing the school" when they do not want to be there and cannot cope with the daily demands of school. Add that to the sensory issues of the seams in the socks, the hard feel of school shoes, a jumper and a tie and that is why they turn up in a pair of shorts in January, no jumper, shirt untucked, no tie and trainers. You try each morning to brush their hair and this results in the child telling you they are suicidal and being slumped on the bathroom floor, the room being trashed through the anger and anxiety or you getting hit...and so you don't get to brush their hair. Off they go, to face another day with the long hair hiding their face, the anxiety of the day that lies ahead of them and the protection that a long fringe provides when hiding from the world. Just feel a triumph that after another morning battle, you achieved getting them into school that day.

But now... what do I see... beyond Neurodiversity...

My beautiful boy who has the kindest soul and is distraught if he accidentally steps on an ant, a child who would always share his last chocolate button with you and take off his shoe and walk bare foot if he thought you were going to step on something sharp.

A child who is funny, witty, has the most infectious laugh and the most incredible intelligence, far beyond my own at 41.

A child who given the right chances and learning the right skills and "norms" in life, has a chance to live, thrive and maybe, just maybe, his own independence as an adult. So why do I keep up with the "oh so many" play dates, the constant attempts to go to a themepark (his happy place), the hours of driving and the routines...because every child with Neurodiversity deserves the same chances in life as others and because... he is my beautiful boy.